Breastfeeding Blues

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Courtesy of Caroline from CeilidhKids

To be sung to the tune of Elvis’ ‘Heartbreak Hotel’

Well since my baby joined me
I’ve got some real sad news
Although I love her dearly
I’ve got the breastfeeding blues

It makes me so bovine baby
It makes me so bovine baby
It makes me so bovine, I could moo.

The midwives squeezed and poked me
My baby bites and chews
And everyone ends up howling
We’ve got the breastfeeding blues

It makes me so bovine baby…

I can deal with baths and screaming
And nappies smeared in poos
But still I dread the feeding times
I’ve got the breastfeeding blues

It makes me so bovine baby…

When visitors come to see her
With toys, and ahhs and oohs
I sit there with my boobs out
I’ve got the breastfeeding blues

My boobs are sore and swollen
I can’t lie down to snooze
But I’m always up pumping anyway
I’ve got the breastfeeding blues

And since I can’t do it in public
We hide in disabled loos
Whilst folk in wheelchairs queue outside
I’ve got the breastfeeding blues

I get invited to parties
But so far I’ve had to refuse
My posh clothes won’t fasten across the chest
I’ve got the breastfeeding blues

I can’t think of weaning
With all this milk to lose
I’m wedded to the breastpump
I’ve got the breastfeeding blues

I’m growing horns and chewing cud
I’ve started emitting moos
They call me ‘Wiseman’s Dairies’
I’ve got the breastfeeding blues

When my baby goes to college
In makeup and high heeled shoes
I think I’ll still be expressing milk
And singing breastfeeding blues


A very huge thank you to Caroline for this – go visit her site.  If you’re in Edinburgh or nearby, pop into one of her classes or hire her for a party! Guaranteed great fun.

Anyone that’s musical – would so love to get a youtube clip or audio of this – let me know if you think you can help out.

Much love Tricia xxxx