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The Fears of Birth

Birth can be a worry for many of us and for so many different reasons.  We have been inundated for such a long time about how awful birth can be, about how sore it is (“take ALL the drugs”), how exhausting it is and so many more horror stories.  These deep seated fears and anxieties about birth can come from our own birth experiences or stories that have built from those around us from infancy and very much includes the media portrayal of birth.

Currently, we are inundated with many birth preparation classes and so much focus on the positive including hypnobirthing and positive affirmations.  I’m a fan of these as they really do help to reframe your world positively.  However, often what happens when we spend so much time glossing over the positive we never address the underlying fears and what our very real fears of birth are.  For many, where our fears aren’t deep rooted, or if we have enough of an understanding of birth including a really good birth team, we can have really positive births.  For others, where the fears haven’t been addressed and where something doesn’t go to plan at the birth, the fears can escalate and may inhibit our baby’s birth in some circumstances can lead to a difficult birth.

Right now, get a pen and paper out and list down ALL your fears about birth.  Don’t look further down this page until you’ve done it…. spend at least 5 minutes.

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Here’s a list of what I believe are the common fears (please be aware this might have triggers):

  • Birth is painful
  • Birth is dangerous
  • Something might happen to me or my baby
  • My body doesn’t know how to birth
  • My pelvis is too small
  • My baby is measuring too big
  • I’ve got an inexperienced pelvis
  • My baby could be in the wrong position
  • What about if I poo during labour
  • I don’t want anyone to see me naked
  • I don’t want anyone to touch or see my vagina
  • My vagina will be ripped apart
  • How can my body birth a watermelon?
  • Can I have sex again?
  • I need ALL the drugs as birth is SO sore
  • I’m scared of an episiotomy
  • Birth should be in a hospital
  • A doctor should be at my birth as it’s so dangerous
  • I’m afraid of being in the hospital
  • I’m scared of needing an epidural or spinal
  • I’m afraid of birth because of what happened to…
  • What will birth feel like?
  • I’m afraid I’ll loose control
  • What about if I start to cry or shout?
  • I’m afraid I’ll forget to breathe
  • I had forceps, I don’t want my baby to need forceps
  • I’m afraid of being cut open for a c-section
  • I’m afraid of needles

This is not an exhaustive list – I could keep writing – there are so many we are scared of, and this is a list to normalise so much of it.

These fears weren’t developed when you fell pregnant, these have been fears that you have always had and are stored in your body.

If you’d like individual one to one support to work through these individual fears including locating these fears, releasing them and giving you an individual toolkit so you are fully prepared for your birth – the book in for a one to one coaching programme.

What are you waiting for?

 

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  1. Pingback: It's time for women to own their births....

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