I am back!!! I wanted to share one of my biggest learnings from being away with my children for the summer. Every year we generally will decamp to Italy. We’ve got a house and family over there so we are there most years for a few weeks of the summer as it’s cheaper and easier than staying here in Edinburgh.
Most years my husband will drive me out there and leave me there with the car and then fly home and fly back out. This year for the very first time in 15 years, my husband had gotten a new job (yeah!), meaning he managed to get five weeks. It was amazing as a family to have all of that time together. Because we had all these extra weeks we decided to do some special things such as stay on the Italian lakes and a trip to Venice which the boys had been pressuring us to do.
Have you ever been to Venice? It’s one of the most beautiful cities in the world. It is AMAZING. You walk out of the train station and it’s absolutely stunning. It’s one of my favourite cities. I was so excited to get there and show the kids…..
Within 30 seconds of getting to the station and standing in the queue to get the ticket for water buses, we knew it was a mistake…. this trip to Venice that we had invested time in researching/planning, effort, preparing the kids, money etc… (you get the drift). The heat and crowds were absolutely horrific and being there with three boys and a baby in a sling… was just not easy!!!! We decided after we saw the main sights – St Mark’s square and the Rialto bridge to call it quits and just head home as we were all seriously struggling and thankfully the place we were staying was lovely so we knew we’d have a better afternoon back there.
On the train going back, I reflected that we can spend so much of our time trying to make these perfect moments and experiences at huge cost to ourselves. Mostly, the moments that are always perfect are the ones that are unplanned where we are all relaxed and the pressure is off. Kids really enjoy us when we are feeling calm and relaxed. Often those big experiences that we plan for, to have that perfect moment, often don’t ever become. We are all happiest when we can relax and just enjoy having that time with them.
The summer was great and it was really good to have the opportunity to be together for all that time. It’s reminded me again and again in the end that simplifying parenting and taking all the easy options as much as we possibly can makes our life so much more enjoyable and allows us to enjoy parenting. And our children benefit from that because we’re much more relaxed and they’re much more relaxed as well because we take the pressure off them to perform in a specific way.
Going forward as a mum, I will take that pressure off myself to achieve these moments and a perfect life and look at ways that I can simplify our lives, plans and diaries.
I hope that’s helpful and I’d love to know what you do to help simplify life.
If you’re interested in supporting your wellbeing as a mum, then join our Overcome the Overload community which is reopening again in September. If you would like more information about that then do feel free to get in touch and I’m really happy to help you. Alternatively, you may be interested in some one to one parent coaching or EFT support. In the meantime, you can get access to these videos which will help you to feel calmer by clicking here.
Much love, Tricia xxx
