When I ask women… how would life be if you didn’t feel anxious/stressed/fearful/fed up….. Many of them reply with… “I don’t know”…..
It’s hard to imagine how life would be if they didn’t feel anxious, stressed, busy, worried or something else all the time. They don’t know how a day would look like if they weren’t anxious or how they would feel instead.
This week I’m setting the task for the women in Overcome the Overload to work on identifying life without overwhelm. It’s an approach that I learned when doing the 3 Step Traumatic Birth Recovery REWIND Technique training. It’s a gentle, client focussed approach to support them to see how life can be different.
When I work in sessions, I help clients to identify what they would do differently and how they would be in their life if they didn’t have these uncomfortable feelings anymore. It’s called solutions focussed brief therapy. I loved this modality so much, that earlier this year I invested in training and am now integrating this approach into all my coaching clients.
You can use it for anything around fertility, birth, motherhood – how would it feel if I weren’t scared to give birth? How would it feel if I didn’t feel overwhelmed? How would it feel if I didn’t feel shameful about my birth experience?
Living with these patterns of behaviour and constant inner dialogue can make them so ingrained in our identity. Yet our identify and our programmes and patterns of behaviour have developed from past events – some of which we can remember and some of which we can’t.
These memories though are our REFLECTION on events and our brain has decided which ones to rely on and which ones to discard – sometimes with little logic.
The brilliant thing is that because our memories are just a reflection on past events and our behaviours stem from them… that we can also use our brain to create future events that can start to create new behaviours… sounds simple… it is. You can literally see women’s faces change during the session.
Here’s some of the questions I’ve asked the women in the group to think about so that they can add this into their visualisation that I’ve set for them this week…..
Miracles do happen….
What about if there was a miracle happened when you went to sleep tonight and through this miracle all the things that you didn’t like about yourself, that you struggle with and others noticed about you were gone… what would be there instead?
BE SPECIFIC – the more specific you can be – the more effective this is…. (for example…. I would have an alarm set for 6.30am, I’d give my partner a cuddle and tell him I love him, I’d wear those boots which make me feel amazing etc – SPECIFIC is key here)
How would your face look?
How would your posture be?
What would you be saying to yourself?
How would you be dressed?
What would you do first thing in the morning when you woke up?
What would your morning routine be?
What would a typical day be AND how would that be different to a day now – what are the differences in your day?
If you weren’t to feel ………. You’d be FEELING ………. …………………….instead.
If you didn’t DO those behaviours you didn’t like…. What would you be DOING instead?
What would others notice about you? It could be your partner, the kids, your friends, your family etc….. What would they notice?
If life was as you wanted it… what would you be doing MORE of?
What would be the differences between who you are today and who you are tomorrow?
Taking in all above…. Briefly describe your future self here…..
Now take action… start doing these things and see what happens…. See how life unfolds.
Much love, Tricia xxxx