As we’re easing out of lockdown and schools and nurseries are returning, I wanted to support you to navigate the ‘new normal’.
I covered this in my community Facebook group Q&A this week as it came up there too, Tapping Out Of Overwhelm.
1.The new rules about school, illness etc
Right now, I am COMPLETELY bamboozled by all the information I see in the news and social media and have no idea what is the truth or what is lies anymore.
There’s a lot of politics, fear, media working up a storm about this all and what this is doing is spreading anxiety, guilt, finger-pointing, and more.
I’m sure most of us, given what we know about COVID, aren’t necessarily concerned with our children becoming ill but it’s the consequences of this.
We recently went to test our youngest because after two days in nursery he came home with a streaming cold and before I’d realised he was ill, I’d taken my mum out in my car.
When this happened, I noticed my anxiety went into overdrive and I had all these thoughts tumbling about in my head. When I sat with this feeling I identified three parts being activated:
- The catastrophising part of me went mad going through all the worst-case scenarios – what about if all the kids get it, what does that mean, will they be off school for weeks on end? They’ve literally just gone back – how will they manage that and how will we?
- The part of me that worries about what other people would think of me and was frightened and ashamed that I’d be the one responsible for spreading it.. Will everyone blame me?
- The blaming part got annoyed that someone else had sent their child to nursery with a cold.
This is what happens when we live with such intense feelings of fear and anxiety. We finger point, we judge and we take sides.
Here’s how I worked with it using EFT/reframing/breathing into it:
- I re-assured myself that we had done NOTHING wrong and after calming down that someone else had sent their kids to nursery with a cold, I realised they had done nothing wrong either. Nobody here is trying to hurt anyone – we are ALL DOING OUR BEST.
- I went to get tested. Even though I knew that it wasn’t COVID, I wanted that re-assurance so I could manage it (particularly for the older children and the impact on school – again NOT a fear that anything would happen to them or us but that they’d end up having to isolate for 2 weeks).
- I realised that it was OK if we had COVID, there was no shame here whatsoever and fundamentally we need to live with this virus just like any other virus.
- And I re-assured myself that none of this was my fault. In fact, WE ARE ALL DOING OUR BEST to navigate a whole new situation.
2. Other people’s opinions and judgements
This situation is not going away. And through it so much anger and judgement.
Try to remember, you can only control your own thoughts.
It’s ok to take a break from social media, the news and TV.
Other people’s opinions are just that – their opinions.
Before commenting or getting involved in a post, take a moment to consider – why are you doing this? What’s the gain?
We are all under extreme finger-pointing, anxiety, and fear so everyone is not coming from a place of rational thinking – don’t take offence and come from a place of kindness.
3. Running around again like the old normal
I know myself I RELISHED having more physical time to myself during lockdown. Yes, it was tough and hard but I loved no school run, no obligations of people to meet or things to do, no time constraints.
Suddenly we’re back to school runs, cleaning school uniform, packing school bags, finding lost uniform, meeting people again, family, friends and work commitments and so much more.
There are of course things you can’t change – I need to get the kids to school.
For other things, whilst it’s easy to say “you can say no”… it can feel very uncomfortable.
Sit with that unease. What’s it worried about?
Is it worried that you’re going to let someone down, that you’re going to make someone angry, the you’re going to look like you don’t care, that you won’t be one of the gang if you don’t show up?
Try to think about what the benefit is about not running about? Does this mean I have more energy to do the things I want to do and care about?
For me, before I do anything, I try to think – will this nurture me? Will this grow my energy? Will it meet my needs?
If it doesn’t, I try to remind myself – when my energy is depleted, it means I can’t give to myself and those around me. My energy is hugely valuable to me and my family and those I care about.
Let me know if you find this helpful. I know right now things are tough and I want to remind you that THIS WILL END.
Much love, Tricia xxx