Is this normal? What do ‘normal’ mums feel?

This is dedicated to one of my friends right now who is struggling and for her, and all the mamas out there who are on a rollercoaster of emotions – I want to normalise some of the ways that you might be feeling.

I also think it’s helpful to understand what’s not normal too and when you need to get help.

We are all amazing mums, all of us looking after little people to the best of our ability.

• want to upsticks and run away? YES
• cry at the drop of a hat? YES
• to shout at people you love when you’re struggling? YES
• be in need of a holiday from parenting? YES
• to feel as though “I’m not good enough?” YES
• beat yourself up with a stick about how crap you are as a mum? YES
• make a fuss about getting a break, then when you do get one to not know what to do? YES
• feel so overwhelmed that you don’t know where to start? YES
• lie in bed all day? YES
• have occasional intrusive thoughts that harm might come to your baby (i.e. you might drop your baby down the stairs or drown your baby)? YES
• resent your partner? YES
• worry about getting it right? YES
• want to be perfect? YES
• find intimacy hard? YES
• struggle with relationships? YES
• feel angry? YES


• to actually get in the car and run away without telling anyone
• to not be able to get out of bed day after day
• to cry all the time
• to constantly cancel seeing people because it feels too much
• to not manage normal conversations
• to have thoughts about not being here anymore
• to harm yourself or your baby
• to have constant intrusive thoughts
• to have visual disturbances
• to not sleep when your baby sleeps
• to not be able to wake up when your baby or child wakes up because you’re sleeping too deeply too much of the time
• to check on your baby every 5 minutes
• to not be able to relax
• to stop laughing at all the wee things in life
• to scream at your children all day

Motherhood is a rollercoaster of emotions.

There’s nothing that will test you more in life as much as becoming and being a mum.

These are conversations we need to be having as women and as mothers. There’s no shame in any of these.

If you experience things on the ‘not normal list’, you may want to seek out additional support. Please speak to your GP, Health Visitor, or contact me and I can help signpost you.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed at the moment, take a few minutes to take this Overwhelm Screening Tool which helps you to gauge how overwhelmed you may be feeling.

Much love, Tricia xxx

Other posts you might be interested in…

Old actions don’t bring new results

Old actions don’t bring new results

Many people come to me because they are dissatisfied with many parts of their lives. They know they want "something", but they don’t know how to get it or make it better. Through our work together - the thing that makes the biggest difference is changing what the...

The unspoken rules that cause distress

The unspoken rules that cause distress

"When do you not need to invite the whole class to a party?" This was a question another mum asked me on Sunday at a kids birthday party. It made me realise that there’s so many ‘unspoken’ rules in life. Yet it’s these unspoken rules that are the ones that cause us so...

Ending the cycle of stress, anxiety and burnout

Ending the cycle of stress, anxiety and burnout

Finding a woman who isn’t in this vortex of stress/anxiety and burnout is rare. It’s almost like a needle in a haystack. I can see it amongst all the women that ever enter my life whether it’s clients, family, friends, colleagues, neighbours - everyone. It’s prevalent...