Last week in the membership, it was a week of self compassion. Each day, the members were asked to do a very small task to increase their compassion to themselves.
When you are self compassionate, you will see the biggest changes in your life.
There is no one in the world who creates such high standards as you do for yourself.
These standards might be:
- Your career goals
- The way your family ‘should’ look
- Parenting approach
- A perfect house
- Calm, cool and collected 100% of the time
- Weight/health target
- An active social life
- 2 holidays a year
- Sex three times a week
- The perfect jeans
- Cooking perfect meals
- Bear Grylls adventures with the kids
- Relationships with your partner, mum, dad, in laws…others…
And when you don’t meet these, there is nothing like the inner critic there to really tell you how you’re not meeting these standards…. in fact, how you’re a complete failure.
Maybe, for example, your critic would like you to be able to balance the SAME career before your had kids, still exercise 3 times a week, get into those jeans you wore when you were 20 (and high heeled shoes), have sex with your partner like you used to, go out with your mates till 3am… as well as now co-sleep with your child(ren), craft like mister maker, cook healthy meals for 4+ people (some of whom may have an aversion to green things), look after the huge laborious task of laundry and so much more…you get what I mean…
Yet you expect yourself to achieve all of this on little sleep, living of caffeine and sugar and being in a vicious cycle of exhaustion because you keep pushing yourself to achieve everything. It’s an impossible task and expectation on you and this is where we need self compassion.
I had this metaphor came through last week when I was thinking about this topic and I wanted to share with you as I think it’s really helpful.
Focus on how you can get the best from your kids and others… it’s often through kindness, looking at their strengths, trying to support them to get to their goal through cheering them on and praise…. even when they’re not getting everything right..
Here’s what I want everyone to know… you get the best from yourself when you’re kind to yourself as you would be to your kids, your friends and everyone else.
One of the ways to get yourself out of overwhelm is to stop being driven by fear and anxiety and worry and be really proud at all you are achieving each and every day. It will help you to get yourself out of the stress cycle and into the present moment with your kids and relieves you of all that pressure….. just think how GOOD that would FEEL!!!
Once you develop compassion to yourself, you can then start to be compassionate, accepting and tolerant of your partner, mum, dad, in laws, colleagues and everyone else.
I’ll be talking about this more in the FREE Breaking Out Of Overwhelm masterclass on the 12th November. Details of this are below.
Much love, Tricia xxx
FREE: Breaking Out of Overwhelm Masterclass
Here’s what we’re covering:
- Why is it that you feel the way you feel?
- What’s at the root of burn out/exhaustion/feeling frazzled?
- What’s causing your own teenage/toddler tantrums?
- Why is it your so addicted to your phone/social media/scrolling/amazon prime/chocolate/reliant on wine etc
- Why might you feel so anxious all the time?
- How can you overcome overwhelm?
- What might be stopping you?
By joining this masterclass you will:
- Say goodbye to your inner critic and feeling like a failure because you will realise how much you actually are doing and be thereby more compassionate to yourself
- Welcome boundaries and set realistic expectations of yourself because you will understand the ridiculous pressure you are putting yourself under
- Feel much more able to ask for help, not take on so much, take the pressure off because you’ll have a much better understanding of why that’s important
- Create more time, focus and drive to make changes (because you are not going to continue this way)
- Gain knowledge about how to start prioritising yourself and why that matters (yes looking after yourself is the least selfish thing you can do)
It is entirely free. It runs once a month. It’s one hour of your time. And I can’t wait to show you there is a different way. Book here.