What's taking up all your energy.... | Tricia Murray

What’s taking up all your energy….

I’ve been talking A LOT about your capacity cup recently.  

That is that you can only manage so much in your ‘cup’ – that’s the amount of capacity you have.  

If your cup is too full – you end up either anxious or burned out or fluctuate between the two.

It sounds super easy to talk about emptying your cup or stop it getting full.

But the truth is it’s not because otherwise you’d be doing it already.

The hard work is the deep work.

  • What is in that cup? 
  • Why is it there?
  • What’s causing you to take on so much?
  • What’s triggering the thoughts, feelings and emotions in that cup?
  • What’s stopping you from emptying that cup?

It’s not as simple as remove the stress.  

It’s not the stress that causes the things in the cup…. It’s the thoughts and feelings and emotions you have about the stress.  

Let me illustrate.

Christmas is a brilliant example of this.

It’s not Christmas day in itself that’s making you feel overwhelmed – it is fundamentally a day like any other.  

It’s the thoughts, feelings and emotions around it.

The constant striving…. 

  • To get the perfect gifts which are functional, ethical, beautiful and wanted.
  • To make the family memories for the kids
  • To ensure that all the traditions are kept
  • To eat the Christmas dinner, trimmings etc 
  • To buy the matching pjs
  • To fill the Christmas Eve box (what is that anyhow?)
  • To make the Christmas cake, puddings, mince pies
  • To find the stocking fillers
  • To decorate the house perfectly
  • To write the Christmas cards (!!!)
  • To craft with the kids
  • To not fall out with family
  • To buy the perfect wine, gin, port (that’s me!)
  • And normally all the Christmas parties, events, school fairs etc.
  • … it goes on….

It’s the high expectations you set on yourself and on others. It’s the thoughts, feelings and emotions.

And what that often means is when it comes to Christmas you’re often more attached to the do list (ie the doing, the researching, the indecision) than being under the duvet with your kids watching films and making those lovely memories.

But if I told you just to stop… what would happen?

  • Your fears, worries, judgements, feelings of inadequacy, internal critics/strivers/controllers may appear…. 
  • You might feel you were failing your kids, your partner, your family, your friends
  • You’d be scared you could upset people so may feel anxious 
  • You might be wary of judgements – what do you mean you’re having frozen pizza for lunch?

This is what’s in your cup.  It’s THIS.  

It’s not Christmas that’s in your cup… it’s your reaction to all the things you feel you need/want to do.

I love this work as I love working out whose rules (aka beliefs) are you playing by?

Because when you think about it, often your beliefs and actions are mis-aligned from your values because these rules are so hard wired.  

You might feel that being present with the kids is what’s important (this is your values). Often, however, you’re so consumed with the to do list because your cup is overflowing trying to get everything perfect (beliefs about what you should be doing).

In January 2021, I’m running Thrive Mum Method and this is what we’ll be working on together.  

  • What’s driving all of this behaviour creating the thoughts, feelings and emotions?  
  • What’s in that cup and why?  
  • What are the rules and who’s created those rules?
  • What are your values?
  • How can you empty that cup?

This is the work I love to do as it provides you freedom from burn out and anxiety.  Life feels much more aligned.  You can much better perspective.  You can think rationally and clearly.  Life is happier, calmer and easier.  And within all of that, it returns your energy as you are not so constantly exhausted.  

Details are here.  There’s 8 spaces.

If you’ve got any questions then drop me a message.

Much love, Tricia xxx 

PS Just to be clear I love Christmas…. honestly…. and there’s def some of the list I’ll be doing….  🙂
PPS The pic at the top is us last Christmas when we lit a fire on the beach at 9am…. best Christmas ever…..