I have never been diagnosed with anxiety.
Yet I’ve had it all my life.
The first time I realised that I had anxiety was when I was running peer support groups back in 2014.
I heard all these other mums talking about their ‘anxiety’.
I had been diagnosed with postnatal depression in 2011. When I look back on that time, I realise it was actually anxiety I had which eventually caused complete burn out.
I didn’t realise that the symptoms I had were actually anxiety….(do any of these resonate?):
- Constant knots in the stomach
- Hyper-vigilance
- Exhaustion from spending time with people because I couldn’t relax
- Over dependence on alcohol on nights out
- Replaying of events and conversations again and again
- Forecasting future days and events again and again
- Running to check my kids were still breathing
- Over-performing/giving at work
- Desperation to be liked
- Need for a perfect life
- So busy doing but never being
If I’d actually had help for anxiety many years earlier it might have meant:
- I wouldn’t have been that shouty and overwhelmed mum who felt she was constantly failing and then feeling guilty for it
- My sleep would have been better and I’d felt less frazzled
- I would have been relaxed and calm with the kids and taken more of it in my stride and got down on the floor to play with the lego rather than ‘getting on’
- I wasn’t exhausted trying to run round and please others and could have focussed on pleasing me and the kids more
- I wouldn’t have felt so stuck in situations
I found it really hard to justify getting help for myself to get better. But thankfully eventually I did. And I’m so pleased.
Over the years I’ve invested thousands of £ and time in therapy, coaching, training and personal development and it’s really taught me how to stop anxiety dominating my life and that of my clients.
It’s also given me back my relationship with my kids. The mum I am now isn’t through a magic pill, but through my own work and investment. It’s hasn’t just happened.
Anxiety still comes back. Because it’s here to look after me and protect me. I’m not scared of it. I know it’s trying to communicate with me.
There were a few times in 2020 where anxiety came back to talk with me for various things – partly covid, partly life.
The difference was this time is I didn’t push on and get on with it and get through it.
I sat with it and I LISTENED.
I remember we went away for a few days up north and sitting on the stairs in the house we were staying and just asking it….. what are you worried about? What’s feeling scary right now? And the moment I listened to what it had to say… I then asked it… why’s that a bad thing? What would happen? And then why is that bad? And then I reassured it – I was safe, my family was safe.
This is what I help my clients do. I can’t cure anxiety. No one can.
But you can learn to be free from the impact of it.
The issue is that so many of you are used to powering on through, living on auto pilot, not tuning in to what’s going on because you’ve never been taught to feel your feelings or become curious about your behaviour.
You almost expect this to be life – just because life is busy – it is normal and ok to feel this way. It’s like as a society we’ve normalised anxiety.
And what that means is so many years wasted, feeling frazzled, miserable, not being a very nice parent or partner and missing that time with our kids.
I know how awful it feels when you feel anxious all the time.
And I know how much I valued learning how to have a conversation with the part of me that gets anxious.
I want you to know you don’t need to continue feeling anxious, burned out and constantly panicking over everything.
And that’s my offer to you.
I’m running a group coaching programme – Finding freedom from the impact of anxiety. This is a step by step programme for mums who want to regain their lives, time, energy and headspace.
If you’d like details then contact me.
Much love, Tricia x
