You are NOT anxious.
I know a lot of you might struggle with this as you’re so used to believing that you are.
But here’s the thing.
You, yourself, are not anxious. It’s a part of you that’s anxious.
When you think about what the role of anxiety is – it’s a fight or flight response to protect you to quickly get out of danger to survive.
Yes you might get anxious about getting in the car again after a crash or giving birth after a traumatic experience.
Yes you might get anxious about being in a dangerous situation.
Yes you might get anxious going along to a scan that might tell you there’s something wrong with you/your family.
The way anxiety, however, shows up just now for the VAST majority of you is very different.
It’s not about survival or keeping you safe.
When I ask people why it makes them anxious that their house isn’t tidy, that they’ve had a presentation at work, that they’ve had a job interview, that they’ve got a new job, that they haven’t emailed back the oven cleaning man, that they’ve fallen out with their friends/family, that they have two small kids to cope with, making sure you’re getting dinner on the table in time so you can get out to gymnastics (these are all examples I’ve heard in the last couple of weeks)…
…. this isn’t survival….
….this anxiety is a tactic a part of you is using as a way to push you into meeting a need in you – often approval from yourself/others/acceptance/making you perfect/stopping you from failing.
Anxiety is being used by a part of you as a control mechanism.
- It uses continuous thoughts as a way to control you to do what it wants you to do.
- It wakes up at 3am to replay again and again past or up coming scenarios.
- It stops you from doing what you want to be doing with the people you want to be doing things.
- It makes you flip your lid at the most stupid of things.
- It inhibits you speaking out, applying for that promotion, starting that business, making your needs met
- It creates so much noise that you can’t make a decision for fear of getting it wrong
… and so much more
None of this is survival.
The way to work with anxiety is by understanding it, creating distance, soothing and nurturing that part of you so it stops behaving in this way, unearthing triggers and untangling yourself and your identify with anxiety.
If this is resonating – I’m running the Finding Freedom Experience for 6 mums who want to manage, sooth and ease those anxious feelings so that they live a life free from the impact of anxiety.
It is for a maximum of 6 mums and runs for 12 weeks. It is an intensive programme but the results are life changing.
Here’s what one of the participants had to say:
“I signed up because I was feeling really anxious and I didn’t really know why and I really liked the idea of learning to live with it and learning practical things to help. That really appealed to me.
I’ve honestly found it brilliant! I’ve found it really practical, supportive and systematic. It’s logical and it felt like each week built on from the last one. I liked getting the videos to look at and think about and then having the session the next week.
The impact is that I understand myself a lot better and why I am like I am. I feel like I have really effective tool kit to help me explore that further. I know why anxiety is there and how to use it at times to my advantage. I am more confident – this is huge. The biggest thing I think and I have a new job. I don’t think I would have done that without this programme and your support! I just feel generally more confident and more like I should be if that makes sense. I’m seeing things as opportunities rather than threats.
Others have noticed or they have commented that I look different. I think as well that I am more confident. I think they’d notice that I have been talking about my anxiety a bit and it’s opened up quite a bit of chat about it for me and other people.
Working with you is brilliant!! Thank you. You make me feel relaxed and that it’s OK! It feels safe. The support over telegram has been so good. Honestly thank you so much!
Of course I would recommend it – 100% In fact I already have on quite a few occasions. It’s helped me be more open about feeling anxious and so I’ve mentioned it quite a lot and folk seem really interested in it!”
If anxiety is something that impacts you, you can download 10 Easy Ways to Ease Anxiety Fast.
Much love, Tricia xxx