How many times have you heard ‘sleep when the baby does’? And how many times did you ever actually rest or do nothing?
I know for me (AND MANY OF MY CLIENTS), until my children were much older, I struggled with this.
And here’s why.
You are conditioned to believe that rest is:
And that will mean that you’ll:
‘Out of control’
‘Won’t be on top of things’
‘Feel anxious’ (or stressed)
’Have too much to do’
I’d love to meet someone who is actually ‘on top of things’ unless they don’t sleep or have an army of helpers.
Because here’s the thing…. I hate to disappoint you or to upset anyone who signs up to any ‘system’ that makes them in control… You will never be on top of things because there’s always something else to do.
I loved when one of my clients once said as it dawned on her…. ‘Who’s going to lie on her death bed wishing she’d put away that wash or changed those curtains’. Exactly this.
Living in that level of high intensity all the time, is so unhelpful for you.
But you are not alone.
As a society, women (or people conditioned as women), are literally from the moment they are born conditioned to always be doing, achieving, striving and pleasing as though some terrible thing is going to happen if your house is a mess and or you haven’t painted the windows for 10 years (I am currently midst getting a painter to pain the windows for the first time in 11 years I think!).
At what point were you told that it was bad? That it meant something about you? That there’s a story or energy that goes with people who ‘live like that’. Do you have a judgement about people who live in a mess? Or solely a judgement about yourself?
When you stop giving a shit about the state of your house or your to do list or that you should have better ‘systems’ or that your husband and you fully distribute the load and that both of you know the house ‘systems’. It’s like an ease in your body – a feeling of liberation.
But through that there’s so much work to be done to shift away those anxieties, worries, fears, beliefs, judgements.
And that’s the work I do with my clients.
I give you the permission to be radical in your life and make radical decisions including REST (recently a client started sitting in the sauna 3 times a week – no workout was part of that – she said – it was life-changing and her husband even noticed how much better she was for it).
Think what a difference that would make to your life if you felt RESTED, that you felt you could make decisions FREELY, that you didn’t feel like a martyr to motherhood and instead you felt like you could enjoy this time?
If you’d like help, I’ve currently got space from the start of November for new clients working together over 3 months. If you’d like to start 2022 in a place of calm and have a year of feeling great, hit reply and I’ll send you details.
Much love, Tricia xxx