October 2021, I went on holiday and I realised that I had literally read no fiction books for the entire year.
I realised everything I did was being governed by the parts of me that like to succeed and push forward all the time – I call them my striving parts.
Doing a meditation – meditations around ‘letting go of a belief’, ‘future you’, ‘mindset’ – none were about relaxation.
Going for a walk or driving or making dinner – self development podcasts – Gabby Bernstein, Brene Brown, Glennon Doyle, Fearne Cotton, Rangan Chatterjee, multiple business growth podcasts or training – no listening to music or the Guilty Feminist (which is what I used to love listening to)
Reading – all personal development or work books – no fiction.
Conversations with my husband or friends – all about work/self development.
I realised – even in the middle of the night when my brain should be switched ‘off’ it was constantly listening out for that new nugget of information, that insight, that thing that I might miss out on through an obsessive need to put podcasts on.
Does that sound familiar?
I realised I was ALWAYS switched ON!
Always thinking, absorbing, obsessing.
I realised my brain needed more space. I was exhausted from constantly thinking and analysing.
I made some shifts.
No work books or phones in bed after 9pm.
No podcasts or noise when I’m walking the dog.
Music in the house and car for dancing and singing to when I’m making dinner (occasional podcasts for long journeys).
I’d like to let you know – so far in 2022 – I think I’m on FICTION BOOK 14…. It’s been epic!!! You cannot beat getting lost in a good book. And I have read some serious books (Shuggie Bain), but also plenty of completely ridiculous books (like the Crazy Rich Asian series because sometimes you just need something completely different).
I still occasionally have to put on something to listen to in the night if I can’t sleep, which has been impacting me more and more as I think possibly I’m peri-menopausal (hello night sweats, insomnia, weird cycles – eek!).
Overall – the SPACE in learning has allowed me proper decompression time, which has been bliss.
The need to constantly push forward is so hard wired into so many of us.
Most of the women I work with are imprinted with a very similar striving programme to me.
It’s what helps you to succeed and be successful in all areas of your lives.
It’s also what burns you out, leaves you feeling anxious and overwhelmed and bone-tired exhausted.
This constant need for information, having no silence, no decompression, no rest or restoration doesn’t mean that success is easy.
It means that success is at a cost to your health.
You have spent your life being programmed that this is what success is – being switched on, learning, striving and accessible all the time.
The great news is you can also choose to change your belief systems to know that it’s safe and healthy to switch off, have boundaries and prioritise you.
If this is resonating with you – I’d love you to join my NEW FREE COMMUNITY of women who are ready to stop being swans on the outside and jelly on the inside (if you know, you know).
I’m calling it the High Achievers Reset – for high achieving women to find success in life and business with calm and ease.
Over the next few months I’m going to run a series of free talks for this community. The first one was last week on habits, which you can find in the group and next month there will be one on boundaries with many more to come.
For now, you can join my new free community group, which is on Telegram here. (If you haven’t used Telegram before – it’s a bit like WhatsApp, however, separate – it means that I can practice what I preach and have my boundaries between work and life and so can you and it takes about 20 seconds to install from the App Store).
See you in the group.
Much love, Tricia xxx