Change your focus and become an action taker | Tricia Murray

Change your focus and become an action taker

Oh my god –  the effing weather….

Is it getting to you?

Today is literally pissing down here in Edinburgh.

I have a choice to make.

I can choose to put my focus on the weather and let it get me down, or I can focus on what I can control – a toasty heater at my back, my dog at my feet, a hot cuppa and booking myself in for a sauna later.

See what I did there – assessed the situation – decided on what actions and decisions I could control and that’s what I’m doing.

What I often find with a lot of the women I work with is your focus and where it lands.  

And I get it.

It’s taken me a VERY long time to re-train my focus bias and if I don’t keep it in check it goes right back…  

That is – that you spend all your time focussing on the things you can’t control, rather than the things you can control.

For example….

You’re having relationship issues with your partner/mum/child…. 

You do everything you can to ‘fix’ the issues, but often making this a lot worse by trying to control a part of it in some way… like the way they speak to you, what they said (because it’s never you – right? – me too), obsess over the details, make sure you’ve told everyone else about it too etc….

…. rather than – looking at what you CAN control – that means looking after you, meeting your needs, having fun, being in nature, setting boundaries, seeking help and support, your role in the interaction, how you respond, the beliefs that are being activated, your acceptance and compassion.

OR

You’re not happy

You fixate on all the things that make you unhappy – your work or relationships or parents or kids or finances or Boris Johnson (me too!) etc…

…. rather than looking at what actions, decisions, boundaries, beliefs, life style choices, activities, needs you can meet, help you can organise, limiting your time on twitter refreshing etc.

What I’m trying to say – is there’s a fucking shit load of stuff you can do yourself to get yourself from where you are to where you want to be by changing your focus.

And that’s powerful because it takes you from victim to action taker.

I believe that a lot of the time feeling anxious is a natural and healthy response to a situation that feels threatening, exhausting and overwhelming.

And feeling like a victim feels threatening.

It’s a powerless position to be in.  

If you’re ready to go from victim to action taker – book in a free 20 minute clarity call here.

Much love, Tricia xxx