What fear of judgement actually is | Tricia Murray

What fear of judgement actually is

One of the things I teach in my anxiety programme, SOAR, is understanding anxiety and why you get anxious.

Whilst understanding anxiety doesn’t necessarily stop it fully, being educated about anxiety can help to drastically reduce it.

Ultimately the reason that you may experience anxiety is for your survival.

You notice the danger in everything as it keeps you alive.

There’s times that anxiety is the RIGHT reaction. Such as…

  • If you’ve found out that you’ve got a serious illness
  • Been made redundant
  • Being attacked
  • About to go back into a situation that was difficult or traumatic

Anxiety is a normal and very sane reaction to a situation that is threatening.

YET – many of you will experience anxiety in different situations such as:

  • Did you say the right thing?
  • Other people’s opinions/advice
  • Being late to an event/meeting
  • A messy house
  • Not nailing motherhood/life
  • A presentation at work
  • Sharing your opinion on something
  • Failure
  • Starting your own business
  • A night out with friends

In these situations – anxiety is not a helpful response as it has NO IMPACT on your survival.

The anxiety response is possibly because you’re scared of judgement.

Yet nothing in this situation is life threatening.

Your brain, however, does everything it can to stop rejection and that includes being judged.

BECAUSE your brain hasn’t caught up to understand that being judged is SAFE in terms of your survival.

In tribal days where we lived in communities – to ensure your survival – you needed to stay accepted, be part of the tribe.

Being ex-communicated would have meant certain death from illness, famine, predators or other tribes picking you off.

Being rejected by your family would have meant the same.

Yet – being rejected now – means nothing except that. Just rejection. Nothing else.

You don’t need to create a story, let it make you feel anxious – because you will STILL live on and be successful even if you’re not accepted by everyone.

The TRUTH is – if someone judges you when you’re doing your best, being authentic or for your opinions – you don’t need their validation. It makes no impact on your life except one less person in your life. It says way more about them than you.

And this fear of judgement rather than increasing your life span and making your life better, it keeps you SMALL – it limits your life, success and joy. It stops you going for the job, saying no, setting boundaries, making time for you, keeps you trapped in the mundane and from living the life you truly want.

So go out and share your truth, shine your light, don’t create stories about things in fear of others opinions, have the messy house, fail at things because at least you tried them.

Be the authentic, beautiful and messy you that everyone deserves to see.

Imagine a world where you didn’t care so much about other people’s opinions and the impact it would have on you? You have the power to create that change.

If you’re thinking about working with me – there’s some options below. I am currently FULLY BOOKED and not taking on any NEW clients until August 2022 when my rates are increasing. If you’d like to book in and would like to book in at the current rates, hit reply and I’ll let you know the next steps or book a clarity call (see button below).

If you have been thinking about SOAR – please get in touch with me (no obligation to book).

Much love, Tricia xxx