I talk a lot about habits.
The reason why I’m slightly obsessive about habits is that if it wasn’t for strong habits – I wouldn’t be where I am right now in my life or in my business.
As I write this – it’s Monday morning and I’ve been living in Italy for the last two weeks and it’s school holidays. Life is different. I am currently a full time mum to 4 boys on my own, whilst my husband is still working and will be for another two weeks.
I had planned to write this and yet today I feel a tad like a charlatan because I’ve not been following my own advice.
I can feel myself getting tied up in the ‘shoulds’ as I’m not keeping up the ‘good’ work of the last few years. Habits such as journaling, EFT, yoga, meditation, reiki, cold showers, low caffeine intake, no alcohol etc have gone out the window. The things that I believe keep me sane and steady.
There’s other habits, however, which haven’t left me.
These are – compassion, boundaries and prioritisation of me.
Compassion- the ability to consistently be compassionate to myself and everyone else around me. I’ve spent years training my brain to work in a different way and move away from the inner critic to a model of compassion. I did journal this morning and something came up for me and I realised how compassionate I was not only to myself, but others around us. I realise that I am able to be compassionate to myself in a way I’ve never been able to before. Even the fact that I’m not able to do all the normal ‘mindset’ stuff, rather than the inner critic coming in, there’s like a funny, cheeky, compassionate part of me coming in and being kind to me.
Boundaries is another habit I’ve noticed that I’m able to keep up – in terms of what I allow into my space energetically, situations, expectations placed on me, work, with the kids, with my family and everything else. It’s always a work in progress, but I notice how I’m able to place this better than any other year I’ve been here.
Prioritisation of self – I’ve felt totally within my rights to prioritise myself at all times. Such as putting the iPad on at siesta time so I can meditate, practice reiki, chill or read a book. I’m not replying to emails or messages when it’s not ‘work’ time or putting myself in situations that stress me out just because I should. I’m asking the kids for physical and mental space in a good way, not when I’m at the end of my tether. I’ve learned I’m a shit mum when I care take for everyone else, but forget about me.
A lot of the time – I don’t even see these things as ‘habits’ – it’s things that I do without even thinking about it.
And it’s happened because I’ve worked on myself over the years. I’ve worked on:
- the beliefs that I’m not worthy, that I’m not good enough, that I’m unloveable
- my victim mindset – that it’s everyone’s fault except mine and that I have no control over my life
- the archetypes about what I believe a ‘good’ mum/wife/person is and beliefs around that
- the parts of me that have felt like a child that needed help emotionally
- and so much more trauma healing, subconscious belief shifting, rewiring of my brain
But here’s the thing.
Everything changed for me because of the habits I’ve instilled, specifically the journaling, EFT and nervous system regulation (the pausing, the breathwork, the cold showers).
I wouldn’t have got here WITHOUT the habits that I have literally done week in and week out.
None of what I changed in my life has been rocket science. What I have changed, you can change too. I know this as I’ve literally worked with hundreds of other women who’s lives have changed through a mixture of therapy, coaching and HABITS.
If you’re ready for change and it’s time to say goodbye to anxiety, stress and overwhelm, then get in touch and I can let you know some options of things that might suit you.