The fears that keep you trapped

Happy Halloween (I’ve just sneaked in on time to say that…. If you’re reading this tomorrow – too late!).

I was with my friend Sarah recently and I shared my first ever time I started thinking about self development was reading ‘Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway’.

It was around the time I was starting my IVF journey and I was literally shitting it.

I remember it well as we were travelling to Thailand for my 30th for an extended trip and I was filled with all sorts of fears. I was at many cross roads internally and I clutched on to that book reading every single word as this was going to be the thing that helped me (of course the book made no difference at all).

Halloween is here and it feels like a good time to chat about fear and things that spook us.

I’m seeing a lot of posts about fear. This post, however, has been brewing with some thyme (see what I did there) since I was with Sarah.

Fear literally stops you from living the life you want and being the person you want to be.

It makes you angry, anxious, panicky, bored, overwhelmed, stressed, stuck, helpless, resentful, frustrated and a whole host of other emotions.

The big fears of leaving relationships, coming out, starting jobs, becoming self employed, disappointing your parents, being unliked, your safety.

The every day fears of judgement, getting things wrong, success (yes, fear of success is a thing), failure, finances, embarrassment, social media, not getting enough sleep, meetings, deadlines, client calls, meeting friends, missing out.

The small fears of mess, dirt, exhaustion, not sleeping, boredom, noise, cold, illness, kids misbehaving, being late, wearing the wrong clothes, being fat.

All these fears rule your lives.

Yet these fears all have one thing in common – they are literally thoughts in your head created by your beliefs about what’s right or wrong.

You rationally know that none of this matters.

And you’d tell your pals – leave your husband, don’t worry about the mess, it’s ok to get things wrong, go for the new job, it’s ok to put your kids in childcare and put your feet up for the day.

Yet you can’t shake it off yourself. You can’t take that advice yourself. Because something blocks you.

What blocks you? Your subconscious. More specifically – your beliefs and perception – the RULES in your head.

Why – to keep you ‘safe’ – to ‘protect’ you.

Yet that safety is an inappropriate response.

Anxiety is a warning to keep you safe from predators, famine, natural disasters, illness.

These fears don’t keep you safe – they keep you trapped.

Most of my clients come to me for rage.

Underneath that rage is often fear – yet it doesn’t present in that way. It doesn’t present that my clients are scared. It presents as them being monsters by frightening and terrorising everyone around them as a way to stop their subconscious fears.

For some – the fear is mess/dirt/clutter and for others the fear is being judged or not being called out or not missing a deadline.

Some of my clients will understand it’s anxiety.

Others don’t.

Whatever you want to regard it as – underneath everything is your beliefs controlling your life and running the show from the subconscious.

Yet understanding that is huge because your beliefs are changeable. They’re not fixed. They are changeable.

When you change your beliefs it means you can CHOOSE how to live your life.

You can find calmness, stillness, fun, connection, strength, fulfilment, freedom or whatever it is you choose.

If 2022 has been a tough year and you want 2023 to be a year where you feel like you’re thriving, having fun, feeling fulfilled and enjoying life…. I have 4 spaces left to start 2023 in my 90 Day Thrive Programme.

If you’d like to find out more about my programme, click the button below.

Much love, Tricia xxx


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