Wishful thinking is a curse.
Let me explain what I mean.
- You want your child to sleep through the night and they don’t.
- You want your mum/dad/parents to treat you in a certain way and they don’t.
- You want to have a specific relationship with your sister/brother and it’s not like that.
- You want a big group of friends and you have none.
- You want your partner to meet your needs and they don’t.
- You want your partner and your kids to help you round the house and they don’t.
- You want to love your work, but instead it makes you feel dead on the inside.
- You want to have more money, but it never feels like there’s enough.
- You want to get rid of the tories and they’re still there.
Basically – you want something and what you have is something very different.
It what I call the gap. And this is what happens.
Feelings.
The gap is the feelings you might have.
Disappointment/frustration/pain/sadness/loneliness/resentment etc.
The bigger the gap between the want and have – the bigger the feelings.
Impact.
The impact is anxiety, anger, depression.
Anxiety – overthinking, worrying, fixating, obsessing, procrastinating, indecision, avoidance.
Anger – shouting your way to take control.
Depression – you depress your emotions and withdraw.
Behaviour.
You might behave as follows:
- Scroll incessantly.
- Get outraged on social media (but don’t do anything that will actually change).
- Complain and moan.
- Shout/terrorise.
- Google obsessively.
- Eat shit food.
- Can’t get out of bed.
- Cry.
- Fixate.
- Ruminate.
- Procrastinate.
- Stuck in the wishful thinking loop.
The issue is – NONE of these strategies help you get what you want.
And you get stuck in the wishful thinking loop.
I want this. I have this. I feel this. I do this.
Such as:
- I want [a better political party]. I have [idiots in charge of my country]. I feel [frustration]. I [get angry]. I [get outraged on social media]…. But don’t take any proper action.
You’re STUCK in the loop.
Before we move on.
This doesn’t cover every single scenario. And there’s some scenarios that are so much tougher than others.
Being stuck in a loop sometimes is an important part of healing.
You can, however, remain stuck for months or years or decades in the loop.
How do you get out?
Work on your beliefs is the simple answer.
- What are the beliefs you hold about this situation? What are the beliefs stopping you from taking action? What’s the gain to staying stuck (if any)?
- What happened to create those beliefs? Why is it threatening that life is different in some way?
- What needs healed or processed to allow new beliefs to be programmed?
- What new beliefs do you want to have?
- Focus in on creating the life you want with the new beliefs you have encoded.
This is the work I do with my clients.
If you want this too – read more about belief coding below.
Much love, Tricia x
P.S. Here’s a selection of case studies of people I’ve helped recently in case you’d like to know what it’s like working with me.
