“We are what we repeatedly do”
I came across this quote this week.
It took me back to the 2022 Anxiety Bootcamp and one of the moments that really stuck with people.
It was around identity and the labels you identify with. It’s one of the reasons I sometimes struggle with diagnosing people is once you say to someone you have ‘anxiety’ – they will become even more anxious because they start to fall into the behaviours and cycles of an anxious person.
The labels you live by are powerful.
They literally dictate who you are.
Underneath all of it, however, is beliefs. And those beliefs are what create your life and everything in it.
Here’s an illustration using social anxiety to exemplify it.
Social anxiety – anxious about meeting new/familiar people.
Identity:
Anxious
Beliefs might be (with core beliefs in brackets):
- ‘Can’t be bothered’ (self esteem)
- ‘I have nothing to say’ (judgement)
- ‘Everyone else always has exciting stuff to talk about’ (judgement, self esteem/good enough)
- ‘I look like shit’ (judgement, self esteem)
- ‘What will they think about…. ‘ (judgement, self esteem)
The behaviour might be:
- Avoiding even planning to go – maybe even cancelling last minute
- Making escape plans
- Over-rehearsing conversations
- Wearing the same familiar clothes so you blend in
- Not sleeping as you’re overthinking it
- Focussing on nothing else – can’t be present with partner or kids or work
- Feeling of dread or panic
- Don’t use your voice
- Hold no eye contact
- Don’t engage in conversation
- Being defensive – energy way off
- Over-drinking and then shutting down or talking shit
- Replaying conversations again and again after
The impact might be:
- Losing confidence in yourself
- Not engaging and therefore people don’t connect with you
- Having no fun
The cycle is:
Next time you go out – you’ll dread it even more and the same cycle will happen – “we are what we repeatedly do” – you are repeating the cycle.
Imagine now that you wave a magic wand and you have new identity and new beliefs and you’ve broken the cycle:
Identity:
Confident
Beliefs might be:
- I love having deep and meaningful conversations
- I connect deeply with new and familiar people
- I love wearing lovely clothes and feeling good
- I am fun and have loads of interesting things to say
- I am enough exactly as I am
The behaviour might be:
- Feeling relaxed and excited as the event approaches
- Sleeping well
- Getting on with your amazing life and not even thinking about the event
- Thinking about others who might be there and what might be happening in their lives and feeling excited about hearing their news
- Taking up space physically and in conversations
- Ooozing charm
- Having really deep and great open conversations that feel good
- Smiling and laughing easily
- Listening with openness
- Choosing if you want to drink or not
- Holding great eye contact
The impact is:
- Feeling confident and dazzling in yourself
- People loving your energy and wanting to be with you
- Having fun
- Wanting to do more of it
The cycle is:
Confidence and high vibe energy – “we are what we repeatedly do” – you’ll be more confident and high-vibe energy in the next event and likely in all parts of your life as you’ll start repeating THIS cycle.
How does that sound?
Like rocket science?
The great news is I am DELIGHTED to let you know that you can do this for FREE in my upcoming week long Anxiety Bootcamp in March. I am going to help you to literally shift your life in a week focussing in one area you feel anxious about.
I am going walk you step by step through a 3 step process, Define/Rewire/Refine, which you can use again and again for any area of your life when you get anxious.
At the end of the week, for anyone that chooses to continue working with me, I’ll be opening up doors to the SOAR programme for anxiety.
There will be two groups of 8 and places will go on a first come, first served basis and is entirely optional (you do not need to join if you do the bootcamp).
I am so excited about teaching you this 3 step process and running bootcamp again. I appreciate not everyone is always in a financial position to work with me so these bootcamps are an amazing opportunity to go deep with me for a week. And have a week of fun, connection and deep conversations. Not often you can say fun and anxiety together!! Join bootcamp here.
Much love, Tricia xxx
P.S. Here’s a selection of case studies of people I’ve helped recently in case you’d like to know what it’s like working with me.
