Self-sabotage is self-love misdirected

“I’m so frustrated – I know what I should be doing but I’m not doing it” – how often have you said this?

Whether it’s about self help, exercise, eating, setting boundaries, drinking alcohol, texting your ex, putting your phone away – I can guarantee if you have a heartbeat you’ve said this.


The first thing I want you to know – it’s not your fault.

This is your subconscious taking action – not your conscious/rational self.

Yet – it doesn’t mean you can’t change it.

I love Brad Yates (EFT guru and bloody amazing man) when he says self sabotage is actually self love misdirected.

What he means by that is when we create change it’s scary.

Say for example, you’ve always been a high achiever/striver/perfectionist.

Everything about your life is perfection.

  • Job
  • Car
  • Kid.
  • House
  • Clothes
  • Body
  • Hair
  • Make-up
  • Diet
  • Exercise
  • Supplements
  • Water intake
  • Relationship
  • Friendships
  • Beauty routine
  • Everything

And what you crave is more time to relax, more sex with your husband, more fun and frolics in life, more time on the beach with the kids doing nothing but having fun, more time to read, more fish and chips and ice cream, more time to just watch the fucking birds all day and not be running around like a blue-arse fly all the fucking time.

Something needs to give.

You can’t have the perfection. And the fun.  

The two don’t go hand in hand.

But it’s scary.

Part of you gets triggered. What if things aren’t perfect – what will that mean?

And this is where we self-sabotage.

Why you don’t do the work.

Because of some fear around change.

“If I change – I’ll be judged/I’ll fail/who will I be/will my husband leave me/will I not have friends/it’s hard work/what will that mean/I won’t be safe/I’ll be bored/I’ll be poor”

So here’s one top tip.

Ask yourself this question “I’m really curious why I’m struggling to…… if I was to guess why this might be – what would I guess it to be?”

Let me know what the reply is.

Have a good week.

Much love, Tricia xxx

Other posts you might be interested in…

The biggest waste of everything is worry

The biggest waste of everything is worry

I was in a session with a client today and one of the emotions that came up was worry. A lot of the time, we worry about things. Often worry is used by the subconscious as a way to control the outcome.  Yet worrying is the most futile emotion. It is a TOTAL WASTE of...

Fear has two meanings

Fear has two meanings

“F-E-A-R has two meanings: 'Forget Everything And Run' or 'Face Everything And Rise. ' The choice is yours.” (Zig Ziglar). I love this. Because until about 5 years ago - I was the forget everything and run. My default programme was to ignore it, hide from it, avoid...

Your body remembers

Your body remembers

Long time no hear! If you follow me on social media you’ll be aware that I needed to take some time off but thankfully I’m much better and now back to feeling much better than I have for the last 6 weeks or so.  I’ve still got some emotional recovery to go but...