10.30pm I was still up doing the blooming washing on Sunday night.
This rare event isn’t something I ever normally do or haven’t done for YEARS.
The outdated conditioning that makes me choose the house or ANYTHING over fun, fulfilment, time with my people had gone and had been for a long time – years in fact.
Yet on Sunday night I reverted.
We’ve finally moved house (YEAH).
And that’s meant a house of crazy with stuff everywhere (where does the stuff even come from!).
My husband took the kids away on a pre-planned holiday with his family so I could work/have some time off this summer.
Yet, I CHOOSE to spend too much of the weekend unpacking, tidying, sorting, washing, buying URGENTLY bar stools and then BUILDING urgently the bar stools (like something dreadful would happen if I didn’t).
As I put yet another load of washing in (as somewhere within this crazy new house thing, I decided to wash all the sheets and towels because I hadn’t washed them between houses and god forbid someone might find out), I realised that something in my behaviour wasn’t right.
I was choosing the house and perfection over me – over my health, wellbeing, rest, time.
This is something I work with my clients is to free themselves from a life time of conditioning in all of my programmes, especially in SOAR and Emergence.
As I realised that it was 10.30pm and I wasn’t in bed asleep and what was going on – I made a promise to myself – this was the last time I was ever CHOOSING perfection (and the house) over me – I choose EASE and thereby me.
I know for a long time what’s stopped me is the nonsense in my head. The brain chatter. The anxiety. The fear of judgement or failure. The what ifs. he feeling of failure of nothing meeting up to the archetype of a good mother and wife and what that means.
I’ve been my own project knowing that the opinion of others do not impact me at all and I can design and choose the life I want.
Yet I know this isn’t the same for you.
I know most people struggle because it’s not easy to do on your own without the knowledge, understanding and skills to rewire new beliefs.
This week, however, I challenge you to OBSERVE your behaviour and ask yourself – where am I choosing perfection over ease? How can I choose ease over perfection?
If this is something you think you’d like help with, get in touch and I’ll share details of how I can help you.
Much love, Tricia xxx