I’ve been thinking a lot this week about choice and the fact that we are the only people responsible for our happiness and our lives – not others.
Often we can blame others for the reason we feel shit.
Such as – you might blame your husband, kids, mum, mother in law, friend – for being in a bad mood and triggering you.
Or you might believe the reason you feel sad is because you don’t have a friend or partner or because your job is shit.
Or you might believe the reason you feel so overwhelmed is because of the amount of stuff you ‘have to do’.
Or you might believe the reason you can’t cope is because of your anxiety or depression.
I could go on.
You get where I’m coming from. We all do it. I do it. You do it. Everyone does it.
We like to blame something for our unhappiness, low energy, inability to create change rather than looking inwards and taking responsibility ourselves.
Yet here’s what I know.
I know that concentrating SOLELY on what you can do and taking ANY positive action creates a cascade for change and makes you feel better.
Here’s what I mean.
Your husband is in a bad mood – either you can CHOOSE to let it impact you or you can CHOOSE to be sympathetic to his struggle and get on with your day – go for a walk, dance in the kitchen to some tunes, read a good book, meet a friend for coffee, do some task you want to do.
You feel like you don’t have enough friends – either you can CHOOSE to cry about this or you can CHOOSE to make plans and join groups or events where you might make friends or else do things that make you happy regardless of having friends.
You feel suffocated by the never ending washing and tidying – either you CHOOSE to let it overwhelm you or you can CHOOSE to leave it all and do something fun, walk in the woods or read a book for a few hours knowing nothing bad will happen if everyone has to wear dirty clothes for an extra day or eats sandwiches for dinner.
You are struggling with your head and all the continuous thoughts – either you can CHOOSE to let the thoughts overwhelm you or you can CHOOSE to do something to change everything – like go for a walk, dance, journal, phone a friend, have a cold shower or get help.
A lot of the time, you stay stuck because you can’t see a different way.
It’s almost like a route to the shops that you choose each day.
If you walk the same path to the shops each day it’s all your know and you end up at the same shops, seeing the same things. It’s comfortable even if it’s unhelpful and it’s not what you want.
You need to learn to walk a different path and see different things on that path and possible end up at an even better shop.
The more you experiment with the new paths to the shops – the more you’ll work out what’s a better path and shop for you – but you need to try it in the first place.
This week I challenge you to NOTICE when you’re staying stuck and blaming and then consider what can I CHOOSE to do instead. Even if you change ONE THING this week – you’ll be so grateful for it.
If you’d like to find out about my 6 month Emergence programme, click the link below. This would be starting in September.
Much love, Tricia xxxx