Do you avoid the mouldy apples?

When I was young an apple got lost in my school bag. 

I can remember it well as every time I opened my bag there was this awful smell. I couldn’t face to look at it. I can STILL smell it now almost 40 years on.  

It eventually covered my jotters, textbooks and gym stuff.

Totally and utterly disgusting.

My bag smelled for years. I was totally ashamed if anyone came near it. And to this day, I never told my mum.  

Yet it got so bad because rather than noticing my bag smelt funny and then investigating it and facing up to it and telling my mum… I ignored it hoping it would go away.

This ignoring and avoidance was something I always did.

It’s was a pattern.

I don’t know when it started but if something made me feel uneasy and I believed that I would:

  •  Get into trouble because of it
  • Upset someone
  • Be judged by my decisions
  • Be disliked by another person or group of people
  • Look stupid
  • Be ‘found out’

Then my default for years was to avoid it.

Yet this avoidance DIDN’T serve me and thankfully it’s something that I’m much more aware of and manage so much better.

Avoidance/procrastination/totally hiding under the duvet/cancelling plans/closing the bag because for many of these issues (not all) they just got bigger.

Many of the clients I’ve worked with over the last few years have been in this avoidance pattern too. 

It impacts so much of your lives including:

  • Relationships, careers, finances
  • Confidence
  • Self-esteem and self-worth
  • Physical body – being in a state of constant high-alert that you’re having to deal (or not deal) with the repercussions of this thing
  • Sleep
  • Headspace
  • Mood
  • Energy

I remember a while back when I was working with a client who wasn’t having a discussion with her ex about something that needed to happen – she realised that by avoiding this conversation and letting it go on for longer and longer and longer was only harming her and her kids.  Working together, she realised that the quicker she had the conversation and she knew the outcome then the quicker she’d be able to deal with repercussions if needed. In fact, there were none – all the scenarios and fantasies in her head about how the conversation was going to go didn’t materialise, but even if they had – she knew she would be ok.   

What I believe is that it ALWAYS goes back to a sense of inner strength and knowing – I can handle WHATEVER happens. What the brain hates is uncertainty. When you know that you can handle whatever uncertainty comes to light – it is life changing.  

And that’s where my interest is.  

You can’t always stop anxiety. Life happens. You’re constantly exposed to new triggers.

Recognising it and having the understanding, insight and toolbox so you can manage it with total confidence and ease means living your life fully. 

My mission is to get women to find freedom from the fears that traps us in your heads so you can life a bold and brilliant life.

If that’s what you want and you’re ready to move from fear to freedom – join my 7 day challenge FEAR TO FREEDOM: Get Unstuck from Anxiety and Transform Your Life, from the 18th-24th September 2023.  The investment for the full week including all 5 sessions and support is £27.

Much love, Tricia xxx

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