Finding a woman who isn’t in this vortex of stress/anxiety and burnout is rare. It’s almost like a needle in a haystack. I can see it amongst all the women that ever enter my life whether it’s clients, family, friends, colleagues, neighbours – everyone.
It’s prevalent and normalised in our society.
Yet just because it’s normal doesn’t mean it’s ok or we should accept it.
As I’m moving into the menopause, my menopause doula said the reason most women struggle with the menopause isn’t because the menopause itself is tough – it’s because they arrive at this stage burned out.
I know there’s things I’ve still got work to do, yet, I know that because of all the work I’ve done over the last few years that I am in a much better place than I ever could have been and burnout isn’t part of my normality.
Does this mean I never get anxious or overwhelmed.
Of course not.
Being human = being stressed at times.
This week, on Friday I got an email and it made my heart lurch as it popped up on the laptop. But within seconds, even before I actually read it, I had already a) noticed what had happened b) calmed myself down c) read the email and d) replied logically and rationally to the request (old me would have avoided reading the email and gone off to do something distracting for a bit or delayed it for days, would have stayed stuck in panic then replied emotionally).
This week, I took on too much – I got overwhelmed, I lost sleep yet I managed to work through it so it moved out of my system a million times quicker that it would have done years ago (old me would have stayed stuck in the overwhelm, kept her head in the sand, avoided everything and not slept for the rest of the week and needed a weekend in bed to recover or shouted at everyone if I hadn’t).
This week, I’ve had issues with one of my kids – one day you could have pulled me down from the ceiling due to the worry I had about them (because I care so deeply), yet I still went out for a reservoir swim with a friend and managed to get my mindset back to normal to know I could manage it and it would all be ok (old me would have cancelled the swim and stayed stuck in my thinking).
This hasn’t just happened.
I haven’t just miraculously managed to think myself out of anxiety or stress.
I’ve learned how to rewire my thoughts and change my life so that things do not impact me anyting like they used to.
I don’t live fearfully.
I live my life fully and express myself exactly as I am with confidence and know I can handle whatever life throws at me rationally and logically. And that is what I teach in my various programmes.
Much love, Tricia x