Why do we accept living in a perpetual cycle of stress, anxiety and burnout?

One of the frustrations I have is that we accept living in the perpetual chaos and cycles of stress/anxiety and burnout.

It’s normalised to lie awake at night, to feel anxious about imperfection or people judging you, to go round and round in cycles of anxiety and thinking in your head and wake up with that feeling of dread in the pit of your stomach.

Just taking ONE aspect of anxiety like judgement (never mind health, food, financial, social and many other anxieties).

How many times have you laid awake, over planning, over thinking, over preparing and stuck in a thought loop EVEN though you know it’s ridiculous such as…. 

  • What will they think of me if I turn up looking fat or my clothes aren’t cool enough
  • What will they think of me if I say I need help or that this is too much
  • What will they think of me if I’m late or need to cancel
  • What will they think of me if I’ve said the wrong thing
  • What will they think of me if it looks like I can’t cope
  • What will they think of me if I’ve made a mistake or not handled something well
  • What will they think of me if my children ‘misbehave’
  • What will they think of me if I lose my shit
  • What will they think of me if I say no
  • What will they think of me if it looks like I’m am/am not successful
  • What will they think of me if I’ve brought the wrong thing
  • What will they think of me if I turn up in a fancy new car/clapped out old car
  • What will they think of me if I’m angry/sad/joyous
  • What will they think of me if I have no kids/4 kids or married/single or gay/bi/trans/etc
  • What will they think of me if I post this on social media …and so many more ‘what will they think of me’

Sound familiar? 

Anxiety is here to protect you. You should get anxious if you’re being chased down the street by a pack of wolves.  You should experience anxiety when there’s a risk you’re going to die (such as an actual serious illness, extreme poverty, an earthquake hits, there’s bombs over your head).  And other times in big changes, transitions, lots of uncertainty – I’d say anxiety is probably a fairly normal reaction.  And lots of other times too I can totally understand why you might feel anxious.

Feeling anxious because you’re worried people are going to think you’re fat, rich, gay, can’t handle your kids, your boss is an idiot or you’re late is not a rational or logical or sane reaction.

That surge of adrenaline or living in that stress response doesn’t make things better.

  • You loose sleep which is huge in terms of your overall health, energy.
  • You find time and headspace disappears.
  • You consume alcohol/nicotine/drugs/buy/eat/information (hello google at 3am).
  • You spend hours app switching on your phone rather than being present.
  • You might end up shouting at your kids or partner or else completely disconnect.
  • You miss out on the adventures, living, joy that life can bring.

It’s entirely unacceptable to accept this in life and live like this.

So imagine waking up in the morning and just not caring what anyone thinks of you.

What would that version of you be like? 2 inches taller, stiller, calmer, more confident, smiling, laughing, taking up space with your body.

What would that version of you be doing? Having fun? Reading? Being with people you want to be with? Making big bold decisions with your life? Sex? Live?

What would that person be feeling? Joy, peace, freedom, satisfaction?

Imagine that freedom because that’s what I want for you.

I want you to get out of the cycles of stuckness in your head and move from fear to freedom.

Much love, Tricia xxx 

Other posts you might be interested in…

My Experience with Belief Coding

My Experience with Belief Coding

You may have heard about Belief Coding and are wondering what it is and whether it's legit. I've got you. In this article I talk about my experiences of using it in my practice. I also cover some of the most common conserns my clients have expressed about it. My...

What does confidence really look like?

What does confidence really look like?

Confession time. One of the pieces of work I often do is a future you visualisation. It’s part of solutions focussed brief therapy is embodying the you that you want to be. Something in the last week shifted when I saw someone else talking about it and I realised that...

Which wolf are you feeding?

Which wolf are you feeding?

I’ve shared this parable before (a long time ago)… but want to share it from a slightly different perspective.  I love love love this parable.   Tale of the two wolves….  The story features two characters: a grandfather and his grandson. The grandfather explains to...