“F-E-A-R has two meanings: ‘Forget Everything And Run’ or ‘Face Everything And Rise. ‘ The choice is yours.” (Zig Ziglar).
I love this.
Because until about 5 years ago – I was the forget everything and run. My default programme was to ignore it, hide from it, avoid it.
Most people I’ve worked with have similar patterns. Or they will oscillate between all time panic over worrying and ignoring – swinging with ease between the two.
Yet over the last five years I have moved into the second camp – the face everything and rise camp.
Avoiding can sometimes work. It has absolutely worked for me at times. Someone’s upset me. I ignore or block them so I’m never pained by them again. A situation is difficult, I ignore it until it’s over.
But sometimes avoidance isn’t a helpful strategy. Because there’s people you HAVE to talk to. There’s situations that need a resolution. You need to make a decision. You need to set a boundary with someone or a situation. You need to be visible to get clients and grow your business or change your career. You need to have the confidence to use your voice, speak your truth, make yourself heard. You need to have the self worth to be selfish and look after you. ESPECIALLY AS A WOMAN.
One of the pieces of ‘identity’ work I’ve been doing over the last few years, that’s kind of evolved and something I’ve been doing again and again is… I work with what I call my ‘wise self’.
My wise self is the much older version of me. She’s seen EVERYTHING. Experienced EVERYTHING. Knows that everything always works out ok.
She’s calm, confident and has a deep happiness.
In times of fear, uncertainty or difficulty – this wise self is what gets me where I want to be.
I ask myself – what would my wise self be doing in this situation.
And often she would be:
- Picking up the phone to the person where there’s been some sort of unease and having a direct conversation about it and getting a resolution with compassion and clearing the air (not in the case of dealing with narcissists etc)
- Making a decision because everything is changeable/rectifiable/easily solvable – she knows she can’t make a mistake – just do her best and she’ll manage whatever the outcome is
- Setting boundaries with total clarity so expectations are clear for everyone involved
- Not giving a shit about what others think and using her voice as she needs to
- Doing things because she wants to, not because she feels she needs to conform
- Using clear communication to get her needs met
Because I go with what my wise self does rather than the fearful self would like to do and because I REPEAT this practice literally DAILY it gets easier and easier all the time. Most of the time I am functioning as my wise self – not the anxious person I was for almost 40 years of my life.
And that SIMPLE, STRAIGHTFORWARD practice is exactly what I’ll be teaching in the Fear to Freedom challenge. It’s the practice of you choosing how you want to manage your life.
If you’re considering Fear to Freedom and joining, but you’re not sure it’s right for you or you have a question, get in touch and I will happily help you.
Much love, Tricia xxxx