You need more than intelligence

 I was out walking with one of my friends last week and she told me she’d just invested in a coaching programme to improve her health.

She said – “for years I’ve felt that I know everything about getting healthier… but even knowing everything, I still don’t actually do anything to improve my health. I realised I felt shame for needing help because I’m an intelligent woman who knows things.”

It made me realise that so many of us feel that shame too for needing help because we think we can eventually work our way out of it. But it can be a year, three years, ten years… and you’re still there – feeling exactly the same way and facing exactly the same issues.  

For so many years, I was that person – I needed help and even though I had access to the financial needed, I didn’t feel worthy of using our savings that we’d saved for emergencies or holidays – I prioritised our family money for things that were “really important” as though I wasn’t really important and felt shame for needing help.  I had to wait a long time to finally get the support I needed through the NHS but in all that time I’d lost months of my kids lives.  Even once I got access to the NHS help it wasn’t what helped – it was eventually receiving private support and then going on a path into emotional wellness.  

Thankfully this has changed because I know the value in support and how it impacts lives.  

Last year I reached out to get the help from a menopause doula because I knew I needed help.  I could feel perimenopause kicking in. It was one of the best things I ever did and I’m just about to invest in another year of working with her.

I had read her book. I am well read generally. I follow accounts on social media. I listen to podcasts. I’m in various fb groups.

I KNOW THINGS. I am knowledgable.  

But even knowing things – it didn’t improve things for me when it came to menopause.  

I needed help to make changes and I needed someone to really challenge me and my thinking and get crystal clear on the changes I could make to my life to make it better.  Fhis accountability is what will help me make improvements that improve my life and my kids.

I could have carried on with the reading, listening to podcasts, following the social media accounts – and NOTHING WOULD HAVE CHANGED for me.

That’s the thing.

Most of my clients know what you need, but until we start to work together, nothing changes. Clients will quote books or podcasts or share insta accounts with me.  But it’s not until we start to actually work together will they ever see those really deep changes.  

To seek change – I’ve realised you need to get over the shame for feeling that you need help and to know that you are worthy of help.

If you’re fed up listening to all the podcasts, reading all the books, following the social media accounts and still seeing no changes in your life AND YOU WANT THEM… get in touch to find out how I can help you.

Much love, Tricia xxx

Other posts you might be interested in…

My Experience with Belief Coding

My Experience with Belief Coding

You may have heard about Belief Coding and are wondering what it is and whether it's legit. I've got you. In this article I talk about my experiences of using it in my practice. I also cover some of the most common conserns my clients have expressed about it. My...

What does confidence really look like?

What does confidence really look like?

Confession time. One of the pieces of work I often do is a future you visualisation. It’s part of solutions focussed brief therapy is embodying the you that you want to be. Something in the last week shifted when I saw someone else talking about it and I realised that...

Which wolf are you feeding?

Which wolf are you feeding?

I’ve shared this parable before (a long time ago)… but want to share it from a slightly different perspective.  I love love love this parable.   Tale of the two wolves….  The story features two characters: a grandfather and his grandson. The grandfather explains to...