Focussing on ease and simplicity

I’m actually totally mortified to share this, but this is exactly the type of thing I want to stop to make my life easier.

December is always a crazy month for me as it is everyone else.  Included in December for us, it’s my twins birthday (15 this year!) and my birthday (46!).

Not only did I spend the normal amount of time, energy and money on Christmas/birthdays etc.

I became obsessed with buying a sofa for Christmas.  

And because of 4 kids, a dog, environmental reasons and I like a bargain… I decided this sofa would be off marketplace or gumtree.  

It had to be a specific size, colour and a good make and within a budget I’d set.

Sounds easy.

But it was not.

In total, I spent…. And this is what I’m mortified to admit… I reckon in excess of 30 hours, maybe 40… searching for the fucking sofa.

There were sofas I missed out on, sofas that I wasn’t quite sure about, sofas I saved hoping they’d come into my budget and sofas I messaged about and waited for replies on.

Then TWICE sofas I was all ready to pick up in the evening AND it was cancelled.  I even curtailed swimming to get back home in time to go back out only to find a message saying they’d decided to keep the sofa. 

Here’s the thing though – in the midst of sofa-gate I was tired because it was bloody December, I’d been juggling work and the 5 billion commitments from school and kids and it was the start of the school Christmas holidays. 

Yet, I was so set on the PERFECT Christmas with the PERFECT sofa, that I ignored my needs and my kids and my husband – all in the name of the perfect sofa.

On the second cancellation I was like – fuck this shit – and I re-arranged my sitting room, bought a coffee table instead from the bargain corner in Ikea and I am DELIGHTED with my sitting room without the fucking perfect sofa.

And in all of this time – did my husband once look second hand sofas? No because he was like who fucking cares about having the perfect sofa and house for Christmas – it’s not important.

What I wish I’d done instead was focussed on ease and simplicity and bloody well slept, read a book, chilled with the kids, baked, danced in my kitchen… what I did was the opposite – I caused more work and stress for myself.

And what I realised is Ease and Simplicity isn’t easy. It’s not easy to access those things.  Not because we can’t but because our minds and programming get in the way – especially as women.

I am sure almost 90% of you will recognise something in this story in terms of your own behaviour – things you’ve over-thought, over-planned, over-researched and lost 30+ hours on.  I know that because I hear similar stories all the time. 

This work is deep. It’s deeply rooted in the perfectionists among us.  And because 95% of our actions are done by the subconscious – I wasn’t acting from a conscious/rational place – I was acting from a place of subconscious programming.

Over the last few years I feel I’ve worked on so much stuff.  This Christmas was actually my most organised and easiest Christmas I have ever experienced and that included us hosting. Whilst I might have been at the shops at 6am on the Friday before Christmas – I also took a list and my husband and we did it all together and I/we felt TOTALLY relaxed and calm. I even slept for like 7 hours on Christmas Eve night. This is a big shift for me/us.  

There’s still stuff I am totally fed up with in terms of how I am/act – like when I get a bee in my bonnet about sofas or other things.

I want it to stop. I want ease and simplicity.

Much love, Tricia xxx

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