The importance of having the courage to be disliked

One of the things I’ve come to recognise over the years is how important it is to have the courage to be disliked.

I know that might not go down well.  

And truthfully when I think about it it unsettles me – like nails going down a blackboard. I can feel I want to delete this email but actually this is important.  

When I became comfortable with not being liked (and when I say this I know I still don’t like it, but I’m comfortable/accepting) it meant I stopped living in fear and became much more confident in expressing myself, setting boundaries, not feeling I need to fit it.

Your mind seeks ‘safety’ all the time. When you’re over-analysing, over-researching, over-planning, catastrophising, avoiding, procrastinating – these are safety seeking behaviours.

But imagine if you didn’t feel that way you might:

  • Vocalise your thoughts or needs with your partner or in meetings at work easily
  • Go on a night out and have the confidence to not drink or not go at all if it’s people you don’t want to be out with
  • Feel relaxed if you’re not included or people set boundaries with you
  • Be comfortable saying no to things or projects you don’t want to because you know you were totally fine to do so
  • Know it’s not your responsibility to fix everything and make everyone happy

I believe confidence comes not from changing you – but (a) changing your perception of how you interpret things as being good or bad and (b) totally and utterly have unshakeable belief in yourself to cope and manage.

I’m putting together a new confidence programme. It’s a pilot. It’s 6 weeks of working in a group with me. The pilot will be £99 and we meet Thursday lunchtimes (I have no evening capacity at the moment). It starts mid April, but I’m seeing right now if there’s enough people interested and can make that time. 

If you would like to see the details, please get in touch and I’ll send it to you.

Much love, Tricia xxx

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